Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
wow bdsm is so cute
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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