i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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