We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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