And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
