What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
