the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
