Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Randomize
