Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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