Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize