Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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