don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
we're making bets on your personal life
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
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