He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
