she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
