so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
