Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
