The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
