I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
