im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize