the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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