"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
