i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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