So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize
