ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize
