Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Is her dick bigger than yours?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize