The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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