were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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