i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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