He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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