Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
