Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
