Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
