Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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