dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
it's like iHOP with fire
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
We were destined to go to rehab together
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
