At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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