And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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