# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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