he thought i was a dude.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
