i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Randomize
