U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
