i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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