I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
