I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
