Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
