Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
