Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
