hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
