I just threw up on my dentist
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
