That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize