Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
we're so committed to being not committed
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