So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
