Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
