During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
