The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
