Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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