Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I'm passing your future prison.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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