Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
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